A/N. Okay there you go, sorry for the wait. I’ve been working on this one for a couple of weeks now. It’s one of my longest works (you should thank my boring teachers) so I really hope you like it. Send me feedback and tell me what you think, and tell me if you want me to continue it, ‘cause I might.
“Why do you keep doing this to me? I know you criticize my acts just so you can hurt me. But here’s a tip Simon, you don’t hurt only me. You hurt my acts their fans and my fans, because they can actually see through my fake smiles.” Demi yelled angrily and walked out the green room, heading to her own dressing room.
Ever since they broke up he’s been an ass to her even though it was his fault. She walked in her dressing room, sat on the couch and put her face in her hands. She was so angry with him. He broke up with her and he was being mean to her as if breaking her heart wasn’t enough. It’s like he enjoyed hurting her. A knock on the door made her pull away from her thoughts.
“Hey, boo you okay?” Kelly said as she entered the room.
“Yeah, it’s just … He’s being mean like always.” Demi sighed. Kelly made her way to the couch and sat down next to Demi.
“Aw boo it’s not like always, is it?” She said and put her comforting hand on Demi’s knee.
“No, it’s not. It’s not a joke anymore, he means it now.” She said lifting her face from her hands. “I just don’t get it. Why does he keep hurting me as if breaking me wasn’t enough for him.” She continued.
“He’s an asshole.” Kelly said making Demi giggle a little.
“Yeah.” She breathed out.
“Now will you tell me what happened between you two or do I have to make you?” Kelly said. She breathed out a laugh and nodded her head yes.
“Uhm … We were together … It all started last year during the second season, but three months ago he shows up at my door saying that it was a mistake. That he can’t be with someone so much younger than him. That he doesn’t love me and that he never did.” By now silent tears were running down her face.
"He broke my heart, Kelly. He broke me." She said as Kelly took her in her arms.
"You didn’t …" She started but was immediately cut off by Demi.
"No! No, I didn’t. But I wanted to, but then I thought about my family, my fans and I didn’t want to disappoint them." She explained.
"He made me feel worthless again Kelly. I thought I wasn’t good enough for him, that I was too fat for him to want me." She sobbed and snuggled deeper into Kelly’s embrace.
On the other side of the door tears were streaming down Simon’s face. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop. He was on his way to apologize. He felt guilty. It was all his fault she felt that way, it was his fault she almost threw away years of recovery. He felt like a monster, but what he heard next broke his heart even more.
"You know what the worst part is, Kelly? I still love him. Even though he caused me so much pain, I still love him."
After Demi calmed down and headed home not wanting to spend another minute with him in the same building, Kelly made her way to Simon’s dressing room. She wanted to talk to him, yell at him.
How could he be so cruel?! If he didn’t love her why did he led her on for a year?! Just for sex?! Or he just wanted to break her heart?!
She knew those questions that were running around in her head were just anger, and her being overprotective over Demi. Something much deeper was going on and she was going to figure it out, but bot before she gave him a piece of her mind.
"Simon!" She yelled as she burst through the door.
"What do you want, Kelly?" He answered with a shaky and broken voice, tears evident in it.
As soon as she saw him her anger disappeared. His eyes were red and puffy, making it clearer he was crying.
"Oh Simon." She said as she made her way to the couch and sat next to him.
"I hurt her. I hurt her so bad. God why did I have to fall in love with her? She would’ve been so much better without me in her life."
"That’s not true, Simon. Now why did you do it? Why did you break up with her?" She said placing her hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him.
"Because I was scared!" He said loudly and angrily.
"I still am." He admitted, his voice quieter.
"What are scared from, Simon?" She asked, her voice above a whisper.
"Loosing her. Something I already did. Hurting her. Also done. I just … I’m over 30 years older than her. I don’t want ruin her career. People were going to judge us and the media would never leave us alone. And I’ll probably die soon and hurt her even more. I just wanted to save her from the pain." He breathed out the last sentence before the tears started falling down his cheeks.
"Simon, look at me." She said making him brush away the tears and turn around to face her.
"Saving her from the pain by causing her more pain is no good. And you’re not gonna die soon. I mean yeah you can die tomorrow from a heart attack or in ten years in car accident. But you don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow nor do you know what’s going to happen in ten years or in 20 minutes."
"And as far as being judged, Demi knows the risks, Simon. She knows what it feels like being judged and still she chose to risk it all, her career, her heart. She risked it all for you, Simon." She said making him regret breaking up with her even more.
"You’re right and I’m an idiot. I was just trying to protect her." He said.
"She still loves you, you know." Kelly spoke quietly.
"I love her too but it’s too late now. Even though she loves me, she’ll never forgive me." He sighed.
"Like I said Simon, you never know what might happen." She said as she got up and made her way to the door.
"That was me telling you go to her house right now and tell her what you just told me." She said as she stopped and turned around.
"Oh, and I totally agree with you. You’re an idiot." She told him as she walked out.
Simon sighed and put his face in his hands. Kelly was right. He didn’t know what would happen. And even if Demi didn’t forgive him, he owed her an apology, an explanation. So he got up from the couch grabbed his jacket and keys and headed out to his car, driving off to a veri familiar house. He parked his car on the driveway and was now standing on her doorstep, looking for the courage to knock.
When he finally did knock, he felt as if his heart was about to jump out of his chest. The moment his eyes landed on her as she opened the door, his heart dropped. Her eyes were red and puffy, her mascara smudged and her hair looked like a bird’s nest. She was dressed in a pair of black leggings and an oversized white T-shirt that looked a lot like one of his. Even though she looked like a mess he still found her beautiful.
"Hey." He said and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
"Hey." She said with shaky voice. "What are you doing here?"
"I … Uh … Can I come in?" He asked unsure of her answer.
"Uh … Yeah sure." She replayed nervously and moved to the side to let him in.
"Uhm … Do you want something to drink?" She asked as they walked in her living room.
"No, thank you." He said as he turned around to face her.
"So … What are you doing here? Wanna criticize me some more?" She scoffed, showing off her sass as the anger from earlier came back.
"No, no ! I’m here to apologize." He quickly explained and saw her face soften a little.
"Continue." She sassed again.
"First of all, I’m sorry for being such an asshole to you. You were right, I did it to hurt you. Well not to hurt you but to push you away, because I’m an idiot."
He paused to take a breath before continuing.
"Then …Uhm … I heard you talking to Kelly. I wasn’t eavesdropping I swear, I came to your dressing room to apologize and I heard you two talking. I just … I wanted to say I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you, even though I know it’s not enough."
"You’re right. It’s not." Demi cut him off.
"I deserve an explanation, Simon and answers! Why? Why did you leave me? Why did you say you didn’t love me after telling me you do every day for a year? You owe me that much, Simon." She said the last part quietly, as a single tear rolled down her face and it broke his heart.
"I was scared." He said his voice just above a whisper.
"I was scared that you would realize that I’m too old for you, that you would find someone your age and leave."
"Oh … Si I would never do that. I loved you Simon you. I would never leave you for some horny 20 year old.” Demi cut him off.
"I was scared Demi. I still am. I’m scared that in few years I am going to die because I’m old and leave you alone. I’m scared that whatever we have or had would destroy your career and that people would judge us and hurt us with their words, but I guess I don’t have to worry about that anymore." He said the last part with pain evident in his voice.
"Simon, instead of pushing me away and making us both suffer you should’ve told me all this before. And like I said Simon I would much rather be with you even if it’s only for the next few years or the next 30 years than spend the rest of my life with someone I don’t love." She said walking up closer to him.
"And as far as it comes to people judging me … Us … Well fuck them. I’m strong enough to take it. And sooner or later it’ll blow off like every single new story out there."
"I thought that pushing you away, telling you and trying to convince myself that I didn’t love you would make it easier to move on. But it didn’t because I do Demi, I love you with all my heart and it scares me because even though I’m old I’ve never felt like this before."
"It scares me to death because I can’t live without your smile and infectious laugh. I miss you and I miss tripping over your shoes in the morning, I miss not finding my things in the bathroom because they’re all berried somewhere under all of your makeup stuff. I even miss the nail polish smell everyday because you like having perfect nails."
"And it scares me that I cannot live without those things. So I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for making worthless all those other things you should never feel because you’re beautiful, Demi."
"You’re an amazingly strong, unique, passionate, talented woman so don’t let anyone tell or make you think you’re not because you truly are extraordinary. And if anything I’m the one who’s not worthy of your love, nor forgiveness."
By now ears were streaming down both of their faces.
"Well too bad you have both." She said as she stepped closer to him, lifted herself on her tip toes and locked their lips together.